Dear, my sweet, love of my life
Charming, gracious, precious wife
We’ve come so far and seen such joy
We’ve raised some girls and raised a boy
Now we toast to years gone by
That seemed to take up wings and fly
At last we now can get some rest
Let’s toast our lovely empty nest!
Steal away to tropic breezes,
To sample wine and rum and cheeses.
Leave the office, leave the bills.
(Bahaman Beaches cure your ills!)
Gladly take the salt and sand,
And play another poker hand!
"Get the girlie", play some gin,
And shop some places you've not been.
Bead your hair and try new dishes.
Live out all your wildest wishes!
Raise the stakes and raise the glasses!
Bask in sun and burn your ----- !!
My bestest buddy, friend, old chum,
Our friendship has persistence.
We’ve weathered pain and stormy rain
We’ve surely gone the distance.
You’ve been the bestest pal I’ve had,
You’re loyal, kind and clever.
We’ve conquered cries of long good byes,
This friendship is forever!
Good to see you, nice surprise
But first I have to rest my eyes.
My kitty's dozing on my lap
So just for now… a little nap.
Pansies smile and lilies wave
And skeeters beg your pardon
Nature seems to come alive
When sippin’ in the garden
Snappin’ dragons, butterflies
Jasmine, vines and roses
Grammie’s hangin’ with her friends
And blushin’ up their noses.
Your sweet and silky elegance
Has captured my delight
Its time, my Love, to go upstairs
And settle for the night
And you, my dear, now say Goodnight
Our love life needs revivin
Come lets move the mystery train
And you can do the drivin!
"Harry's Lodge Meeting"
Come on down and 'tip' one up.
It's meetin' night at Harry's.
There's wine and brew and good cigars,
The agenda never varies.
We talk about the news events,
And the one that 'got away',
We laugh and smoke and tell a joke
That's just a tad risque.
We hang out with the good old boys
While Betty, Jean and Grace
Are tippling tea and knitting socks
On' down at Miriam's place.
"It's Tuesday, Let's
Mamas done the dishes
and dried them all with ease.
Washins on the line
and its flappin in the breeze.
Made a chicken casserole
thats coolin on the range.
Need to cool myself a bit
(Im goin through the change).
Made the merger meeting
and baked a chocolate cake.
Had a glass of wine
with Giselda at the lake.
Had the tires rotated
and did my jury duty.
Now its time to have some wine
and really shake my booty.
"Miriam's Tea Party"
Off to Miriam's to attend her "Tea",
with my old cronies, 'Cat' and me.
Teas and cakes adorn the table,
Edith's there and so is Mabel.
"Why not pop the cabernet?
(Unless you'd rather have Earl Grey?)"
A couple rounds and a few more 'spent',
The 'Tea' became each week's event!
Come to my room just down the hall,
and see my precious jewels.
Just sit quietly. Do not touch.
I'm sure you know the rules!
I've collected only finer things,
from places that I've been,
And when I die I'll leave it all,
to all those "next of kin".
My pearls are from the Orient,
'Chinatown', I think.
Touch the silky elegance
of my genuine faux fur mink!
My cat is an aristocrat
with known distinctive breeding.
She tells me this each afternoon
if I should miss her feeding!
It's strange to be a higher class
than those folks down the hall.
Some day I'll give a big soiree,
and I'll invite them all.
"The Power of Chocolate"
Reached into the cabinet's rear
and got a little box.
Usually have to keep it hid.
Needs a case with locks.
Kids show up and sniff it out
and just want to deplete it.
I just save it for these times
I really need to eat it.
When my darkest days are here
it really comes in handy.
So I owe my sanity
to this sweet chocolate candy.
"Slot Machine Queen"
Pull that handle and watch 'em spin
Yes'sir ladies, I play to win!
Bells and whistles, flashing light
Lady Luck's with me tonight!
Keno, craps and black jack deals
Vegas lights and real cheap meals
Rare white tigers, poker hands
Crooners, comics and rockin' bands
Kids in college, proms and braces
Made me wish for all four aces
Nest egg withered, lost my stash
Thought I'd end up 'trailer trash'
Saved my quarters, saved my dimes
Hoping for much better times
Kids are grown, the house is paid
Pretty soon I'll have it made.
All my life I've paid the way
And now it's time for mom to play
So listen to my 'inside straight':
I'm golden now and life is great!
Her dainty hand is finely gloved
She strikes a timid pose
All the gents have dearly loved
This Carolina Rose.
My precious charge of squirmy fur
Racing motors with crackled purr
Nannys here, Nannys here
Tiny mewings dear and sweet
Velcro kittens with needle feet
Nannys here, Nannys here
Mamas out a-mousing today
Had to stretch and get away
But Nannys here, Nannys here
"Trudy and Grace Play
A woman dare not tell her age,
dear Mommy said to me.
You must sit straight,
enunciate and only SIP your tea.
Head up high with shoulders back
as ladies never slouch.
Knees together, hands in lap
and no feet on the couch!
Whiskey is for garish men and beer
is coarse and crude.
Speaking out of turn, my dear,
is unrefined and rude.
Well I've grown older and matured,
a product of her teacing.
I tried to learn and live the words
of all her constant preaching.
But cats and dogs and candy bars
go with jeans and sweats.
I rather like me as I am
and have no real regrets.
I’ll dress in thrift store craziness
and go out on the town.
I’ll even take my bestest friend
if she is still around.
So Mummy, dear, we sadly fear,
your plans have been unheeded.
I may grow old, but NEVER UP
and friends are all I’ve needed.
"The Truth About Edna"
While sitting in the rotary meeting,
I overheard something in greeting.
I can't help but blurt,
This delicious dirt.
It's news that bears some repeating.
Edna, our companion and friend,
(And I hope that I don't offend),
Was caught by her peers,
With a man half her years.
It's something I can't comprehend!
"Two Old Toms"
Poor old Tom's been out all night,
howlin' in some backyard fight,
Struttin' stuff and flickin' tail?
Yes, my lad is still ALL male.
Old Tom and me, we've had the life.
Lost three dogs, one bird, one wife.
A bowl of milk, a glass of wine,
a catnip toy on a fishing line?
It's time he became a retiree
before he's 'neath the loquat tree.
His ears are torn, his canines chipped.
(It's time to get his bennies clipped.)